Tag Archives: friends

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow…

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My little girl left yesterday to go to outdoor education camp with her grade 6 class. Okay, she’s not actually that little, I know, and she’s more than ready for a week away with her friends and teachers from school. But I was a bit teary and feeling tender as we pulled up to the school and schlepped her gear to the waiting bus. She saw my moist eyes and shot me a wide-eyed look of despair: please, please don’t gush and embarrass me with a million kisses and hugs, Mom! But that’s all I wanted to do.

I wanted to squeeze her until the very last minute before she got on that school bus.

I held my enthusiasm in as much as I could. I know she needed me to send her off strong. I took a deep breath and gathered my reserves. Suddenly I had a vivid memory of the first day I took her to daycare at 2 1/2 years old. She was a very social kid and was interested in the new toys and teachers that greeted us. I was encouraged to stay and play for a little while but then wisely told to move on without a lot of goodbyes or delays (those teachers were so smart!). It was terribly difficult to leave her, but I knew I had to go. I looked her in the eye as I stood at the door and signed “I Love You” before heading outside. I did that each and every time I left her at daycare, and it very slowly got easier to turn away and head out the door. Some days she cried when I left -tears would literally pour out of her eyes as she signed “I love You” back to me. But some days she didn’t cry. Some days I would have to call her name to catch her eye as she ran in and began playing with another little friend. But either way, soon enough we created a routine that always included saying “I Love You” in sign language before separating, and it was all ours.

Back at the school bus yesterday, I gave her a long hug and told her I loved her, and to enjoy every minute of camp and to tell me all about it when she got back. Then, because it was time for her to go, she turned around and started walking away, but before she got too far, I called her name and signed, “I Love You”. She smiled and signed it back to me, and I felt so much better.

LeeAnn&Kids

Ella signing “I Love You” with me & her brother, 2010

Cloudy Day Playdate

I’m not the only one thinking about good old fashioned free play and unscheduled activities for our kids, this summer, and I loved reading about Peekaboo Beans’s Pop Up Playdates currently happening in my Vancouver. They are organizing outdoor playdates at local parks and playgrounds and inviting families to come out and PLAY! Fantastic idea.

Speaking of playdates, this week my family invited my Very Inspiring Friend and her kids over for a playdate on very a cloudy summer morning. Our 5 kids together all range in age from 6-11 years, have known each other since birth and all get along really well, but we live about 30kms away from each other, so our visits are never frequent enough. The kids immediately scurried off to begin playing and the moms hunkered down in the kitchen to drink some much-needed caffeine. We shared stories of the summer as small boys dressed as superheroes/ninja’s crept by us under the table, styrofoam nerf pellets soared past the kitchen door, and teeny, tiny pocket doll outfits pleaded for our mom-hands to help them get even tinier dresses on over the disproportionately large doll heads interrupted us sporadically, but for the most part, the playdate was fairly quiet and relaxing for all of us. We ate some lunch, and the kids went outside to paint some rocks. The moms wandered into the living room (which, incidentally, is a designated no-toy room in my house -every other room in the house ends up hosting toys at some point, but I try to keep one oasis in the house), and we were enjoying the quiet beauty of a tidy room when the 2 big girls walked in looking for us. They had finished their rock painting and didn’t know what to do next, and being 11 meant that they were kind of interested in what we grownups were talking about, so they quietly slid into the living room and sat down with us. Then the boys came in too, because they heard that the girls were in there, and before we knew it, all 5 kids were in the living room looking at us moms.

So, usually I implore my kids to go play and leave the adults alone during playdates, but suddenly a spontaneous game of Froggy Murder started (Froggy Murder is a circle game where one person is a silent “murderer” who looks at the other people in the circle and surreptitiously sticks his tongue out at them to “kill” them. Another person standing in the middle of the circle is the “detective” who tries to watch and guess who is murdering the other frogs. You might remember another version of this game called “Wink Murder”). My son loves these circle games he learned to play at school, but which never work at home because there’s usually only 4 of us. But 5 kids & 2 adults can totally play circle Froggy Murder, and we ended up remembering a few more games of the same ilk. We were playing together for over an hour before it became time for them to go home. The guessing games were definitely an unexpected highlight on a dull, cloudy day. Both myself and my Very Inspiring Friend enjoyed the game-playing, and we realized that our kids are reaching a lovely stage in their lives -able to play with their friends without much interference or refereeing, and also super fun to play with all together as a family of all ages.

Given that I’ve dedicated this summer to thinking up good old fashioned activities to occupy our days and nights for a less-structured summer, I honestly don’t think it would have occurred to me to try that kind of game-playing otherwise, so I’m glad a spontaneous froggy murder suggestion came out and got us started. I guess just being open to unscheduled fun allowed for it to unfold that way. My Very Inspiring Friend continues to inspire me, and I’ll be adding that to my summer bucket list under “Cloudy Day Activities”.

What games do you play as a family? Did you play together while you were growing up?

Beach Blanket Birthday Party

My family and I are ticking off quite a few items on our summer bucket list, and it’s incredible how the list has really made this summer unfold differently than our normally busy, scheduled summers. I’m loving the “unplanned-ness” of our days and spending time doing activities that focus on good old fashioned, local, natural, spontaneous fun.

And in that spirit, late last week I put the call out to nearby friends to meet at the beach for a dinner picnic. It’s a week of birthday celebrations: I’m celebrating not only 10 years of teaching my baby sign language classes, but also my actual birthday -2 great excuses to get together, play in the sand, relax, and have cake!

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The turnout was great -luckily quite a few people were still lurking around the city on a sunny July weekend and could immobilize their troops at the last minute. The kids ranged from almost 2 years old to late-teens. We all met at a local beach and set up blankets and beach chairs, soaking up the late afternoon sun. Yes, my poor beach umbrella is on its last legs, but it still managed to provide some welcome shade from the intense heat (recognize that blanket?).

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Everyone packed their own dinner picnic, so no one had to prepare any big dishes to share, just their own meal. I brought our family’s dinner, a bucket of cut up watermelon, a sheet cake from the grocery store, and that was it!

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The kids played soccer, batted at tennis balls and built sand castles; the older kids kept watch on the younger ones while the adults chatted and shared stories of their summers so far. This was exactly how I remembered growing up -gathering people, eating food, and playing together with no schedule at all.

At one point, as I sat on my blanket and looked all around me, I took note of everyone relaxing and enjoying each other, and felt so incredibly happy to be surrounded by loving friends and family this summer. I’m not an experienced party-thrower, but I’m realizing this summer that a little bit of effort and mindful UN-planning can yield a lot of joy. (And nope, I did not wear a skirt to this party!)

Want to try it? You don’t need a lot of notice or fancy plans, just send a quick email out and see what happens…

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HATS (not) Optional

HAT in ASL  www.growingsigns.com

I love hats!

In summer, I know wearing a hat is the best way to protect myself from overheating, sun exposure, and glare. Same goes for winter, but for warmth and keeping dry (hats also really help on days when my hair could use some extra TLC but there’s no time to give it any).  But my family hasn’t always shared my same enthusiasm for wearing hats.

My first baby was born in early springtime, and by June, the rays of summer came hot & heavy upon us as we strolled and took in summer fun around town. Besides always using the stroller’s built-in sun shade, I remember popping lots of cute bonnets and brimmed hats into my diaper bag for her. By August, as she got older & more dextrous, I remember lots of cute bonnets and brimmed hats being tossed out of the stroller -she did NOT like wearing a hat.

Every time she’d pop her hat off, I’d pop it back on and sign HAT. Every day, over and over. Sometimes I’d try really roomy hats that I’d hope she wouldn’t feel being stealthily put on her from behind…no good. But I kept trying. HAT. We wear our HAT. Mommy’s putting on her HAT. Here’s your HAT.

The following summer when she was one, I found myself repeating HAT a lot: Let’s put on our HAT! Even though she was talking, I’d realized that it really helped to use signs along with my verbal words for commands or, shall we say, emphatic statements. One day, after weeks and weeks of relentless hat tossing (why do babies never tire of some things?) and HAT signing (well, I’m pretty stubborn too), I was almost blown off my own feet. As we were leaving the house for our daily jaunt, the sunlight almost blinded us through the open door: “Mommy, I need HAT!” Wait, what? She was reminding me!

Now, I keep hats for all of us by the front door and back-ups in the car. My kids know wearing their hat is part of being outside, and thankfully, you can find cool-looking kids’ hats everywhere now. Luckily my son has been more amenable from a young age to wearing a hat and doesn’t fight me on it (there’s other battles, don’t worry).

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Yesterday, our family strolled down Fourth Avenue in the blazing sun and took in the annual Khatsahlano Street Party music festival, all in our straw hats.

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Don’t give up if your baby resists your efforts to wear a HAT. Try signing HAT every time you see hats, wear hats, pick up hats, put on hats. As I’ve realized is true with all parenting efforts, including teaching signs: consistency and repetition are key. And it helps if you wear a hat, too!

How to Sign HAT in American Sign Language

The American Sign Language sign for HAT is tapping at the top of your head with a flat hand to indicate where a hat is worn.